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到了叶家后，我以为自己重新获得了家庭的温暖，因为叶妈妈当时对我确实是非常好，曾经，我以为我再次找到了家，以为叶妈妈就是我的亲生母亲，她会永远这样疼爱我下去，可是，随着这个家庭的解体，那个温柔慈爱的妈妈也不见了，在叶妈妈离开我那天晚上，我哭了整整一夜，虽然她在离开前曾告诉我，以后会回来看我，但最终她还是从我的生活中彻底消失了。
After arriving at the Ye family, I thought I got the warmth of the family again, because Mother Ye was really very good to me at the time. Once, I thought I found the home again, thinking that Mother Ye was my biological mother, and she would always love this forever like this. I went down, but with the disintegration of this family, the gentle and loving mother was gone. The night when Mother Ye left me, I cried all night, although she told me before leaving, and she would come back to see me in the future. But in the end, she completely disappeared from my life.
养父新娶的继母视我为眼中钉，多少回，他们一家三口在房间内欢声笑语，尽享天伦之乐，但是，一旦我走进来，继母脸上的笑容就立刻消失了，在那个家中，每个人都时时刻刻提醒我，我是个不受欢迎的外来打扰者，尤其是出了将可馨那个禽兽养父打伤的事件后，这一点可加明显，养父甚至已经明确向我表态，让我尽快自立离开这个家。
The newly -married stepmother who adopted my father looked at me as a nail in my eyes. How many times, the family of three of their family laughs in the room and enjoy the joy of God. I remind me at all times that I am an unpopular foreign disturbance, especially after the incident of the beast adoptive father of Kexin, this can be obvious. Leave this home as soon as possible.
可能也就是在这样一次一次品味了世态炎凉之后，在一次一次满怀期待的渴望家庭温暖，最后又被当头泼了盆冷水后，我的心彻底变冷了，我变得冷酷�荓﹛A虽然我表面阳光洒脱，但那只是我呈现给外人的一层假面具，实际上我骨子里比谁都冷酷�荓﹛A这个世界上，除了可馨，没有任何一个人能再进入我的内心世界，包括当时的你。
It may be that after the taste of the world once and again, after the desire of the family warmth, and finally the cold water was splashed, my heart became cold, and I became cold and ruthless, although I was on the surface of the sun. It's free, but that's just a layer of fake mask I presented to outsiders. In fact, my bones are ruthless than anyone else. In this world, no one can enter my inner world, including you at the time.
在设计并欺骗你和邓文良的那个计划时，我曾和可馨提过，你很�荈d，但可馨说我们这是在拯救你，我也就默认了，因为当时的你在我看来不过就是一个被丈夫冷落的普普通通的怨妇而已，不足以真正打动我的内心，对你最多的感觉也不过是一晃而过的同情罢了。
When designing and deceiving you and Deng Wenliang, I once mentioned with Ke Xin that you are innocent, but Ke Xin said that we are saving you, and I will default, because you at that time in my opinion However, it is a ordinary grievance -like woman who was left out of her husband. It is not enough to really impress my heart. The most feeling for you is just a passing sympathy.
包括那时候我和你上床，我把你抱在怀里，亲吻你，抚摸你，进入你的身体，给你说那些动情的情话，甚至给你演奏那些美妙的乐曲，但是，那个时候，我对你的感情也只是停留在表面层次，并没有触及到心底深处。
Including I went to bed with you at that time, I held you in my arms, kissed you, stroked you, entered your body, and told you those emotional love words, and even played you. The feelings for you are just on the surface level, and it does not touch the depths of your heart.
当时可馨对我说，你不要对她抱有什么愧疚，大不了我们事成之后分给她一笔钱好了，我也认同她那个观点，所以就算是知道邓文良和你摊牌时，你有多么痛苦多么恨我，但我心里也没有什么感觉，因为你不过是我们利用的一颗棋子而已，是我们人生路上的一个匆匆过客，不会在我心里掀起什么涟漪。
At the time, Ke Xin said to me, don't have any guilt to her. It is not a big deal to give her a sum of money afterwards. I also agree with her point of view, so even when you know that when Deng Wenliang and you have a showdown, you have you have any cards. How painful and hate me, but I don't feel much in my heart, because you are just a pawn we use. It is a hurried passenger in our life. I won't set up a ripple in my heart.
是从什么时候对你真正动了心呢？
When did you really be interested in you?
现在回想起来，应该就是在城中村小街那次偶然遇到，如果没有那次偶然遇到，我可能还是会心安理得地和可馨实施着我们的行骗和杀人计划，我们当时最大的心愿就是搞到一笔足够保证我们后半生衣食��忧的钱，然后拿出一笔钱杀掉杨丛山那个禽兽不如的畜生。
In retrospect, it should be accidentally encountered in the small street in Chengzhongcun. If I did not encounter it by accident, I might still be able to implement our scamming and murder plans with peace of mind. Get a money that is enough to ensure that we have no worries in the second half of our lives, and then take out a sum of money to kill the beasts that Yang Congshan are not as good as the beast.
但是那次偶然遇到，令我已经冰冷似铁的魔鬼内心渐渐起了变化，我知道你在离开邓文良之后会有一段消沉日子，毕竟被两个男人同时欺骗，对于你这样一个柔弱的女人来说，这样的伤痛不是短时间内就能轻易化解的。
But that time I encountered it by accident that the devil, who was already cold -like iron, gradually changed. I know that you will have a depressed day after you leave Deng Wenliang. After all, you are deceived by two men at the same time. For a weak woman like you For speaking, such pain can be easily resolved in a short time.
但是，我没有料到你在离开邓文良，也离开我之后，会遇到当时那样的窘境。
However, I did not expect that you will encounter the dilemma of that time after leaving Deng Wenliang and leave me.
当时在城中村小街看到沿街叫卖的你，我形容不出来心里真正的感受，只是觉得很难受，你当时的衣着很邋遢，头发也很凌乱，但是眼神却是坚定顽强的，看到这样被重重伤害的你，在那么落魄的环境里还坚守着生存的信念，那一刻，我的心是真的痛了。
At that time, when I saw you selling you on the street in Chengzhong Village, I couldn't describe the real feelings in my heart, but I just felt uncomfortable. Your clothes at the time were very stingy and the hair was very messy, but the eyes were firm and tenacious. You who are severely hurt, still adhere to the belief of survival in such a disappointed environment. At that moment, my heart really hurt.
这次，是真真正正地为你而痛，当时对你的心，还是同情居多吧，不忍心看到你一个弱女子在那样险恶的环境里挣扎着生存，所以下意识地想保护一下你，哪怕我能力有限，也在我能力许可的范围内守护你。
This time, it really hurts for you. At that time, the heart of you, still sympathy for you. I ca n’t bear to see you a weak woman struggling to survive in such a dangerous environment, so I want to protect you subconsciously. Even if I am limited, guard you within the scope of my ability permit.
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